My Cup Runneth Over

Snuggling with my little man, he says to me, “Momma what color are your eyes?”
Me: What color are they? (I opened my eyes real wide so he could see them and check)
Little man: Blue. Momma has blue eyes. (He then puts his finger up and points to his eyes) and says, these are my daddy’s eyes.
Me: Yup, you have your daddy’s eye’s.
Little man: Nope, my daddy has mine (giggle).
Me: You have something of mommy’s though…You know what it is?
Little man: Ya
Me: You have mommy’s heart

I love my son more than I have ever found words for. I miss him when he is not around. I can watch him play, and smile all day and never tire of him. I love his squeaky three year old voice and I love how he thinks and tries to make sense of the world and categorize the things that are happening around him. He is awesome. Children are awesome.

I hope he knows his whole life how deeply loved he is and how wonderfully special he is.

God Bless,


Tell me how you really feel

“Hiding how you really feel and trying to make everyone happy doesn’t make you nice, it just makes you a liar.”
― Jenny O’Connell, The Book of Luke

I feel like this sometimes. I try to be kind because The Lord wants me to be kind. My mother wants me to be kind. And truthfully there are so many assholes in the world, I figure I don’t need to be one too. And I like being kind. I enjoy being nice in a world full of asshole people sometimes. I don’t like to rock the boat. I like harmony and all things happy.

But sometimes I feel I compromise my happiness and while I’m trying to be nice I completely leave out honesty and it makes me sick. I feel trampled and sometimes even like a martyr. I just wish I could be honest.

No I don’t want to eat there. No I don’t want to do that. I’d rather be alone. I’d rather have company, please come with me. I’d rather spend my holiday this way, etc etc.

I pray and The Lord always says be kind child. I listen but it’s frustrating when others are not kind back.
Some people are so honest. I have a friend like this. But I find it refreshing because you never wonder what he’s thinking or needing because he will just tell you. Me? I’m choosing my words and sometimes they just remain unspoken.

How to balance honesty and kindness? More praying.